Yesterday's Election

I said I was going to vote…I had my reasons to vote…but I could not vote…

Sahar said if she had voted, she would not be able to respect herself; she said that they could not make her vote again with the same old trick: “Just vote for the lesser evil between the two.” She was going to wait for the real thing. She did not vote.

Mozhde said she would never vote for this regime again. She said these elections were all lies. She siad voting would not change anything. She did not vote.

Maryam said we should vote, because we should use our rights to chose what would be better for the future of Iran. She said voting was being responsible. She said we should be practical and realistic, not idealistic. She did vote.

I said I was going to vote…I had my reasons to vote…but I could not vote…

Not because I knew too much, like Mozhde. Not because it would have lowered my self steam, like Sahar. And not because I had an idealistic view, like Maryam said. My reason is not flattering at all !

I do not like myself today. I am Persian, but I am so far away from my country that I could not decide who to vote for yesterday. I did not know who could serve Iran better.

I do not like myself today. I do not like the elected president either. And I cannot care less about the opponent candidate who did not get elected.

But I do love the people of Iran. I do love my home country. And I believe great people of Iran deserve the bests. They deserve freedom; they deserve respect; they deserve happiness; they deserve hope.

I want to help! I want to be a part of that bright future! But I know I will not be able to do it this way. Something is missing. Something is not right. Can it be that I am too far away to feel anything? Even if we are not talking kilometers, can be that I am too far away in heart?