Dear Christie

I am a big fan of your column. But today for the first time I felt a big gap between us, as I am a Muslim by birth and you are not.

I was born a Muslim and I did all I could to run away from it. I moved to Canada, became a patriotic citizen, yet the damn name follows me every where!

I love Canada. No one finger prints me because I was born in Iran, neither they force me to practice a religion I don't believe in.

I ran away from the rule of hate and terror but since 911 I feel that it's my fate and follows me every where I go.

In my (immigrant) community, no one hates Christians or Christmas like you think. We are happy and grateful that Canadians share their country with us. We have opened up our hearts to a new culture and go to work every morning to serve this country.

We don't want to die in a subway attack, as much as you don't want that.

"They live among us" they printed in all papers around the world "he could be your muslim neighbour next door!". I cried for the families of the victims. But also, I felt that I had an obligation to go on the roof and yell "I am a Muslim but I swear I don't hate anyone and I don't kill". But that sounded rather silly.

Maybe no one knew, I thought. I have a rather fair complexion and I speak English with no accent. Maybe I can pretend that I am not muslim.Perhaps I should attend Sunday mass from now on! But that sounded silly and hypocritical.

I feel the guilt in my heart and I see the invisible blood on my hands. No matter how much I cry for the victims of that tragedy or 911, I still hate me for sharing a faith with the murderers.

What do I do? I have been asking myself that for the past 10 days. "What do I do?"

Now, you tell me as a Canadian, what do you expect me to do? I am willing to do anything possible to prevent an attack (by another muslim) that could hurt my friends, family, neighbours and Canada.

I don't want my birth faith to be associated with murder. I don't want to have to apologize to the world every time a psychopath kills. I want the new country that I have chosen, choose me, too.

I don't want to be afraid. What do you want me to do?