Stages

In highschool, I loved playing music, volley ball and writing. I had amazing friends. Mona, Sahar, Leili, Niloufar(s), Maryam and many others. We used to talk about politics a lot. We even argued about the philosophy of life many times. Highschool was full of wonders.

I remember upon graduation we made a bet on who gets married first. I guess I wasn't too far off to put myself last.

Before I was 20 years old, I never bothered with relationships. That was more of an "adult" subject for me that didn't concern a teenager.

I started thinking about dating when I turned 22. It seemed like a good step to take. I had no idea what I was in for! I promised myself that I wouldn't consider a long-term relationship before I was 25 (and had traveled in Europe).

Who knew that I would fall in love, head over heels, right after I turned 25! What an amazing experience. That was when I relaized I was finally ready.

Again, as I was having the time of my life traveling in Europe and thinking about all this, I knew that I didn't want to assume the responsibility of motherhood at least for another 2 years.

So, here I am. I will turn 27 soon and I know that I want motherhood to be a major part of my next relationship. Perhaps not this year or next year, but soon enough.

And I fell in love again. For better or for worse, I felt that I was born once again.

I never imagined my commitment without motherhood. It's amazingly difficult to break away, but he knew what he wanted.

It has been couple of weeks and I have come to accept it now. Letting go is not easy and here I am once again, looking forward to future opportunities.

Niloufar gave birth to a little baby girl 2 days ago.
She looks like a beautiful little angel.

I feel alive and I have no doubt that I will be ready, when it's my time.

I am excited.