Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Pain and Suffering

I have done something very funny.

I went out with this guy during the summer because I knew his sister and brother in law and therefore I got to meet the parents, as well. His parents (german/finish) went all crazy for me, hoping that I would marry their son. Really nice people!

Funny part is that I didn't really sleep with the guy, because he smells, he is sloppy and I have proof that he is cheap. After 3 months of dating (!) I called it quits based on the fact that I couldn't get close to him (smelly sloppy bastard!) and I had to pay for all the dates.

He moved to Calgary (Thank God!) but needed to come to Toronto over the holidays and I was stupid enough to say that he could stay with me. Well, the cheap guy that he is, he decided to stay 3 weeks.

1- he doesn't participate in grocery shopping (but he eats them all)
2- he doesn't clean
3- he doesn't even shower or brush his teeth for God's sake!
4- I am worried that my sofa bed will finally smell when he leaves

So, I decided that I had to kick him out. I figured the cheap guy that he is, if I ask for a portion of the rent, he will leave.

Also, there is the whole issue of bed bugs that I am so convinced his clothes are infested with it.

Well, he took it pretty well and finally after a week, he gave me 1/4 of a month's rent.

I swear to god, if I consider the groceries, the very expensive cleaning lady (me) and all the pain and suffering of having a smelly roommate, 1/4 of the rent is nothing.

I hate myself! I am such a door mat!

Here is a lesson for me: do not go out with cheap people and do not invite smelly people home.

Last night I had this dream that I threw his stuff off the balcony, then called my parents and they beat the hell out of him.

He is finally flying out on Monday. I am planning to steam clean the sofa bed, burn the sheets he is sleeping in and bug-spray the whole apartment.

However, here is a secret:

He has an old pillow (it used to be white and is brown now) that I threw out a few times but he went and got it back. This afternoon, I bug-sprayed the whole pillow! I am thinking, I should bug-spray him and his clothes when he is sleep.

What do you say?

8 Comments:

At 4:13 AM, Blogger Alireza said...

Bahar? was it all out of your imagination or could there be any shreds of truth in your post? I simply can't believe ... [:(]

 
At 7:30 AM, Blogger Bahar said...

What do you mean? I am totally serious!

 
At 8:02 AM, Blogger Alireza said...

I say it's really strange, strange why should you let yourself into this position... I guess he must be too dear to you, otherwise I don't suppose you're in shortage of decent friends... donno, perhaps you are

 
At 8:45 AM, Blogger Bahar said...

Well, they say you don't know a person until you have lived with them under the same roof. Right?

He is a decent guy with a great family. I love his family.

I only got to realize that his hygene is so poor, since he came to stay at my place.

I suppose if I got to live with other people, I might discover their dirty little habits too.

 
At 8:49 AM, Blogger Bahar said...

Up until 3 months ago (when we used to go out) I only thought that he had a phobia of "deodorant" like many guys do.

As it turned out, that wasn't the only phobia he had!

 
At 10:15 AM, Blogger Alireza said...

haven't got much comment although i do remember you saying that he's smelly and cheap...

 
At 11:37 AM, Blogger Leili said...

I exactly know what you mean! it happened to me once. A guy that I barely knew invited himself to my place and ended up staying for 10 days!!

I think our problem was our expectation from each other. I expected him to be considerate and to understand that staying in my small one-bedroom apartment meant that he could not have everything he wanted to, specially because I had to go to work all that time.

and maybe he expected me to be cooler. sometimes I feel bad that I wasn't. But the problem was that I felt he was very selfish and I could not be nice after that point, I simply couldn't.

he cooked greasy food in my place. he took my car and showed up late picking me up from work while he had no cell phone that I could call. he threw up all over my guest sheets after a night of excessive drinking. I admit that I was happy when he left.

That was then I figured I could not have just anyone in my home, although I love having guests. It should be someone I like, respect and trust, and he should have the same feeling towards me. And of course, he MUST be considerate.

 
At 8:39 AM, Blogger Alireza said...

na baba !!!

 

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